Grrrrrr. . . I want to rant a little, and I need a hug. . .

Grrrrrr. . . I want to rant a little, and I need a hug. . .

I don't know if you've been able to read this through the lines in some of my posts, but I'm a little burnt out with my job. I've got a real love for history and wanted to be the new director of the new museum opening soon here in town. I've been talking to everyone I could think of and letting them know of my interest, and I've been watching the newspaper and the job service's website for postings. Well, nothing. One day a close friend of mine came to my job and introduced me to the lady who is the Human Resources Director for the City on an unrealated matter. We got to talking and I told the woman in front of my friend that I planned on applying for the Museum Director's job. The HR Director told me that she would remember my face, and my friend said, "Oh, yeah, she'd be real good for it."

Week before last, an ad came out in the paper for an "Assistant Director" of the Museum. The city was not even doing the hiring! It was being done through the Travel and Tourism Board. I know the lady who runs that, again, through the same close friend who introduced me to the City HR Director. I sent her an e-mail and asked some general questions about the position, such as how many hours (it said Part-time in the ad), the salary range (because if it's 20 hours a week and minimum wage, I can't afford it!), and who was director. I recieved no answer. I thought maybe she didn't get it or was just too busy to reply, and so I went ahead and sent in my resume. I'm still pouting that there was no posting for the Director's position, but, oh well.

Then last Sunday, the paper ran a big ad for my close friend's job! I got worried, I hadn't heard anything about her leaving, and she's been going through a divorce and having a hard time at her job (her boss is evil!!). I was afraid she had decided to move away. So I sent her an e-mail (we e-mail each other almost daily). She gave me a vauge answer about, "Everything's fine, we'll catch up later." I wrote her back and reminded her of a meeting on Tuesday, and she wrote back, "Afraid I won't be there." And that's all I've heard from her except for a couple of chain e-mails.

Last night I stayed up until 1 am Simming. This morning, at 6:30, Hubby comes home from work, storms into the bedroom, turns the overhead light on to wake me up, then slams the Sunday Paper on the bed beside me and says, "That B____ stabbed you in the back!" There on the front page is my friend's smiling face with the announcement, complete with interview, about her being hired as the new Museum Director.

Now, my friend is a wonderful person. She graduated with honors from a Private University, was a teacher before she took the job she's leaving now, which is working with people on welfare helping them get job training and find jobs. She's just as burnt out and unhappy as I am. She works in the same office as the Travel and Tourism Head. She's been going through such a rough year, that part of me can't help but be happy for her. Besides, she's way more qualified with me. In a fair interview process, she would have definately won out.

But she knew I wanted that job!! She didn't say a word when I started spouting off to the wrong person and making a fool of myself. She didn't come to me and say, "I'm going to take the Museum Director's job. No hard feelings?" Maybe she couldn't say anything until it was announced?

So, now I'm wondering how this affects my chances of getting the assistant's job? Will she try and help me get the job? Or will she make sure I'm not even interviewed because she know's I want the director's job? I'm just sick over the whole deal.

You know, there's only one thing I want to do more than work with history, and there's no good-paying jobs for professional Sims Playing!!!

Sorry for the downer, I'm just hurt and sad, and needed to vent.

 

I'm sorry to hear about this. I'd say "Talk to your friend" but first, calm down just a little (don't get me wrong, you have every right to be frustrated and sad). Don't want to be too rash about this, I mean, do you know the circumstances under which she took the job (if you do then skip to the next paragraph)? Did she apply for it? Did someone approach her and ask her to take it?

This could be for the best. You don't need to apologize for venting, we all need to from time to time. (insert hug here) I hope you feel better soon

 

Big hug for Kristal. I've the mother of all bad weeks myself so I know just much a hug means. Believe me. I'm one of those who doesn't believe much in fate, but that doesn't also mean that while I don't thinks things happen "for a reason" I do think that when things do there is usually something to smile about. It sure seems tough to find something to smle about sometimes though, doesn't it?

In this country we have quite strict rules about the public employees are appointed. No appointment can be made without the job being advertised and the selection procedure and interviewing must be scrupulously (demonstrably equal) fair to every candidate ... I tell ya that's a tough job to do. I serve on a panel that recruit nurses for my local hospital. The law is a minefield but no-one who fails to get a job would be able to claim that we had treated him or her unfairly or prejudicially.

Anyway. Take comfort and have an afternoon off simming.

 

Kristalrose, I have to say you were amazingly generous to this woman in your post. At this point, you are stunned and real, honest to goodness, mad hasnt set in yet. I think your husbands anger said it all.

Your good friend didnt call and tell you, a. she was applying for the job, too, b. she was offered the job, c. that she took the job. Your friend let you read about it in the paper. In my world, she flunks the friendship test.

Ive worked almost exclusively in non-profit organizations. I know how easy it is to get burned out. Im excited that youve been actively planning a new career move. Its fantastic to have a job that incorporates doing what you love most. Ive lived in small southern towns most of my life, too. This is your real dilemma. Who you know and how well you are liked can determine whether you have even have a job in your town. Qualifications are usually secondary. How would I handle this? Id send her flowers tomorrow congratulating her. If you can pull it off, act genuinely excited for heroutside of your own home. (I couldnt do it! Lol) It will be interesting to see if she offers you the assistant directors job. I wouldnt take it, though. Why? Because shes shown her true colors. If anything goes wrong in her job, she will make you the scapegoat. Never give someone the chance to burn you twice.

And if you need toI live within driving distance. Ill take you out for a drink or two and you can talk real ugly about her!

 

You should talk to her. Tell her how you feel! Its hard for me, too, being a kid. I think that's pretty mean, not informing you that she was applying. You know, I always rread a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book in these situations.

 

Thanks y'all! I appreciate all the hugs and good feelings. I'm still really down about it today. I took your advice, Mirelly, and Simmed most of the day and barked at my kids if they bothered me. LOL

Ooh, now that sounds like a plan!! I could use a drink!! LOL LOL

 

I think she may still be your friend, but you need to approach her with care. I'd be honest with her and say you were stunned and a little hurt that she didn't share that information with you. See how she reacts. She may have her reasons, even if they're not very noble, such as, she was afraid to tell you, blah blah.

I think a close friend should care enough to be honest.

I think edging you out of even having the chance to have the job was stinky, however, politics being what they are, maybe she wasn't allowed to tell you? I've been in a similar position with my own job. Maybe she was already slated for the job, and it just wasn't official yet, in which case she may very well consider you for the assistant director position.

Don't burn your bridges. I agree you should send her flowers and be happy for her, but I'd also talk to her about your feelings. I've found using "I" statements to be very helpful. Don't use blaming language, as in, "you should have told me." Say only how it makes you feel. "I felt hurt and a little angry that you didn't confide in me."

I had a tricky situation with a relative who was living with us and my sister gave me that wonderful "I" advice, and it worked!

Good luck, kiddo. I'm searching for a job too so I know how hard it is, especially when there's one you really want.

Big hug from Minnesota.

 

All the old adages don't help much at a time like this. And I've never been very good figuring people out but Ouch, I know it hurt. And it's time to open a different window. hugs