The River Valley Daily Herald On the pristine banks of the Sims River, a little community called River Valley lays nestled. The village of River Bend is fairly new, growing up out of a rural agricultural area. Nearby is a college, and many of the new graduates are locating to River Bend. Being the founding fathers and mothers of a new village is hard work, to be sure. These thrity young pioneers are striving to complete their educations post haste so they may enter the job force and start building the community. After a few semesters of studying, the college administrator decided to sponsor a social get-together at the largest dorm on campus. It was well attended by a good mix of students. Two couples in particular seemed to hit it off. Physics Major Elijah seemed particularly taken with miss Harriett Jane Fuller. Harriett is a psychology major and plans on entering the military upon graduation. The two seem like an odd couple, but they seem to adore each other. The other couple seem to be very close in personality. Bathalomew Simpson (no relation to the animated character of the same name) is a mathmatics major. He's rumored to the be the mastermind of the recent attack upon campus fountains of late. Barthalomew was seen holding hands with Miss Tina Jerry, shy biology major. Miss Jerry is a distant cousin to the very famous Tina Jerry-Spock-Walters of Simsville, owner of a genetically-engineered cowplant. Some students were seen glancing toward the pair and muttering things such as "Those two will be making bombs in their basement together." and "Anyone ever see 'Rosemary's Baby?" Barthalomew and Tina seemed to be oblivious to everyone else in the room. Graduation is nearing. Soon, our students will head out on their own, ready to start this new adventure called life in River Valley. We here at the Daily Herald Wish them luck!
Yo. Nice work Kristal. You started a new hood??? I'd rate you with some benes but it seems I have to spread it around before I can give you more ...
Yeah, same here. Sorry Kristal! This is a really cool idea. Do you want stories written, as Michelle suggested?
Thanks, y'all. Sure, that would be awsome! And don't forget pics or, better yet, links to movies on the exchange! (My next report will have pictures, I promise! I've just been working so hard on getting them out of college that I have forgotten to enjoy the game!)
Building Boom in River Bend The recent University Graduations have spurred an upswing in home building in the new River Bend Villiage. City officials are encouraged that the influx of new, educated residents will bring more economic growth to the local area. "I just can't wait to start cleaning up!" says a local housekeeper only wishing to be identified by his first name, Remmington. Postmaster Pao Mellon agrees, "It might be a hard transition at first, but with more residents comes more jobs and more tax money. Maybe I can finally start delivering mail more often than three times a week!" The first new homes were built on River Road. Laura Ingles constructed a simple two-story stone and frame house that she now occupies with two of her college roommates. Barthalomew Simpson moved directly across the street in his new brick rancher. Elijiah Warner was the first to build in what will later be the middle of town. He constructed a frame house in what residents call the "shotgun" style. "It's an old style, but it's very functional and comfortable." Mr. Warner explains, smiling as he surveys his new dwelling from the front yard. "I plan on starting a family soon, and I as soon as I can afford it, there will be a picket fence and a swing-set right back there, and the voices of two-point-five children playing in the yard." Mr. Warner is engaged to Miss Harriett Fuller. Their nuptuials will be the first recorded in River Bend History. "Better make it quick, " Mr. Warner jokes. "She doesn't want to be a 'fat' bride." His blue eyes sparkle as he confides to the reporter. "She's just told me that we have a little one on the way. Ahhhh, I hope it's a girl. And, I hope I get promoted soon. I'm working night shifts as an EMT right now, and I want to be home to help out with midnight diaper changes."
Headline: Strange Happenings Reported At the Warner Household A recent disturbance over the Village of River Bend was reportedly centered over the home of Mr. and Mrs. Elijah Warner. "I heard that Elijah was looking through his telescope when he saw an UFO," reports Miss Suki Fong, college student and friend of the family. "I was there chatting with hottie Napoleon Bonypart after the party, when I heard these strange sounds and Elijah screaming. By the time we got out there, Elijah and whatever made the sounds were gone. Poor Harriet just cried and cried. Personally, I'd think that Elijah would have a girl on the side and be using this as an excuse to go see her, but, who'd have him. I kept telling Harriett that she could do so much better, she's as beautiful as Hallie Berry, and to be married to that fat, red-headed dweeb, well, I hope he does find a girlfriend!" Mr. Warner has taken some time off for a "Family Illness" and could not be reached for comment. The family has recently been blessed with the birth of a daughter, Virginia Dawn. According to sources close to the family, they chose the name "Virginia" in honor of the 1st recorded child born to European Settlers in the "New World" of America. That child was Virginia Dare, born on Roanoke Island in present day North Carolina. The Roanoke Colony became infamous as the "Lost Colony" because all its inhabitance, including baby Virginia and her family, later disapeared. It is hoped that the Villiage of River Bend has much better luck.
Awww no comics! At least this is a lot more interesting than the normal news. Are you sure it has nothing to do with Bart Simpson?
Scandal in River Bend!! Doctor Tina Jerry has abandoned her long-time fiance' Barthalomew Simpson at the altar in what is being described by sources as a "Scandal." "I don't know what came over her," says Elijah Warner. "She was just telling me yesterday how happy she was to be out of college and how well she and Bart are getting along. I had sort of worried about her, she's so nice, and Bart, well, he's not as nice. But they seemed so happy, even kissing right before the wedding. I just don't know what happened." Witnesses say that the wedding party had assembled on the hillside beside the house under a wedding arch decorated in red roses and ivy. The bride looked nervous as the groom started to put the ring on her finger. When he said, "Until death do us part," Dr. Jerry ran away. She was discovered hours later trimming bushes and muttering, "I just wasn't in the mood. I just wasn't ready. I hope he forgives me."
Strange Spell of All Male-Births Have Shops Selling Out Of Blue Baby Clothes It has been a joyous time in River Bend as many new residents are coupling up and getting married. Nathaniel Moore and Arianna Black tied the knot in a quiet private ceremony at home. Tina Jerry was finally able to stand still at the altar long enough to marry a very jubilent Barthalamew Simpson. Issac Holt married Blonde Bohemian Sallie Murphy in what some are calling the social event of the year. These families all started a baby boom that has had odd consequences in River Bend. 1st, The Holts announced the birth of son Corey. Then the Simpsons announced the birth of a son, Kaleb. The Moores had a set of fraternal twins, John Paul and Samuel. And lastly, the Simpsons have just yesterday celebrated the birth of another son, Kyle. To date, there have been six births in River Bend. Only one has been a female, little Virginia Dawn Warner. Her parents also have one son, Anikan. Dr. Tina Simpson has no real answer to the question of why there are so many male babies being born. "Usually, the father controls the sex of a baby. Yet, so many fathers creating so many babies, well, perhaps it is an environmental factor. Something in the water? I don't know, I wish someone would do an educated study on this." She looks down at her newborn son, swaddled in a blue blanket, then back to this reporter. "My husband has to repaint the nursery today. We had decorated it in purple butterfiles. Well, now it's back to the blue space-theme we used with Kaleb. But, we have two healthy sons, so that's all that matters. Maybe when Kyle starts walking, we'll think about trying for a baby girl."
Downtown Comes To River Bend The little town of River Bend has grown exponentially in the past few weeks with the addition of the "Downtown" area. Residents are flocking to locations just as FM and "Crypt O' The Night" Club. Senator Napoleon Bonypart has been seen frequenting many of these places, dancing the night away with an assortment of female admirers. Unfortunatly, some of our citizens are not as pleased with the new, freer attitude of the downtown environment. Local resident Mavis Yokel has been seen engaging in fisticuffs with local Business Tycoon Barthalomew Simpson. "I just can't stand that man!" She was overheard to say. "He walks around in his high-brow Calvin Kline suit and looking down his nose at everyone! Hey, I may not have no fancy college education, and I may not fly to work in a helicopter every day, but I have a right to dance and sing and drink and have fun, and if he doesn't like it, he can kiss my rosey-red-rear!" Simpson was unavailable for comment.
CEO Barthalomew Simpson's Violent Streak Continues As previously covered in the "Daily Herald", rumors are flying about local CEO Barthalomew Simpson's violent outbursts. Last evening this reporter had the unfortunate opportunity to see one of these outbursts for herself. The reporter, along with several of River Bend's most notable citizens, had arrived at the Simpson home for son Kaleb's birthday party. Simpson's wife, Dr. Tina Simpson, had come outside to greet guests when Simpson attacked her for no apparent reason! The couple errupted into a cloud of smoke and obsenities, while the two Simpson children cried inside the house! Barthalomew won the fight, but Tina divorced him on the spot. Witnesses say this has not been the first sign of trouble in the Simpson's marriage. Sources close to the couple say that Tina was seen downtown in the arms of an unnamed male. And Barthalomew's behavior has become increasingly odd since he became CEO. He has even been observed having long conversation with several of the newcomers from Transelvania. "He might have decided that now he has unlimited power, he might also want eternal life," whispers neighbor Harriet Warner. "What do you think, Elijah? Elijah?" Spouse Elijah nods his agreement slowly, as if he does not want to add to the speculation. He is a Med-school mate and best friend of Dr. Tina Jerry.
Some Pictures 1) Napoleon Bonypart and Rachel Greene take in the sites of the New Downtown. 2) Jack Dawson's bubbled-up graduation celebration. Fiance Rose is in the foreground, and friend Larry (also spent too much time on the bubble-blower) watches in amusement. 3) The Simpson family during happier times. Father Barthalomew holds baby Kyle, while eldest Kaleb and neighbor Harriet wish the baby well. 4) Bart and Tina falling in love at college
You got a Rachel Greene as well? I made mine a party girl though. Nothing like the Rachel Greene from Friends. How much do I love that show?!?
